i go back

me + maverick in 2007, photo courtesy of my momma :)

a while ago, i went and picked up my stuff from parkwood, the barn here in idaho that i go ride at sometimes, since i didn't have a horse there anymore. my gorgeous, beloved saddle sat on a kitchen chair for a little while before david and i decided it needed to be somewhere else. since i refused to put it in storage (it's cold in there!), we cleared a space in a cabinet down here in the store and sat it up so the leather wouldn't crumple or get deformed.

today, one of our hairdressers asked to borrow a tape measure. i went to the cabinet and bent down to start looking and when my face got close to my saddle, i got a big, long whiff of...horse. it smelled like leather and sweat and stall shavings. it smelled like home. it hit me like a punch in the stomach--i actually teared up for a second, i felt so nostalgic.

i remembered summer days spent riding in the california sunshine. i remembered the first time i got first place in a class at a rated show (it was an equitation over fences class and my mom cried). i remembered misty and dusty and maverick and eskimo. i remembered the box of championship ribbons somewhere in my parent's attic. i remembered the knot of nerves in my stomach before i would enter the show ring and the headaches from trying to remember the course of jumps at hand. i remembered irene and trisha and adrienne and heather and my mom--my barn family. i felt the thrill that comes with a perfectly distanced jump and the frustration that comes with not doing as well as i could. i remembered who i used to be.

my point is this: i'm pretty sure there is horse hair in my blood.
i don't ride every day and show all summer like i used to, but at heart, i'm still the weirdo horse girl that i grew up being. i'm proud of it and i love that i grew up in a barn.

p.s. when i asked my mom to send me the picture above, she also sent me this senior picture:
how you like that purple eye shadow?! LOL! and those scandalous shoulders...i think this is the first time i've seen a picture of myself and thought, "man, i look so young." and this is only from the summer of 2006!


  1. and I miss the happy you that resulted from many hours logged in that gorgeous saddle of yours. I miss sharing that part of our life together. Someday, I'm sure, you'll be back in the saddle again soaring over fences and making me, David and your children as proud as ever!

  2. hehe this makes me giggle. i loved the high school brandilyn I grew up knowing, but i LOVE the adult brandilyn just as much. :]

  3. hhahaha highschool wasn't even that long ago for us and I feel like i look so different. you're gorgeous either way. love you.


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