3.25.2013

one of our days

Joons and I met David for his lunch break the other day.  

The night before had been a long one.  Our boy is almost a year old and we're still up with him every 2-4 hours some nights. I know something has to change eventually, but 95% of the time, I just don't have it in me to leave him crying alone.  These are the choices I've made as a mom--breastfeeding on demand, making myself available for him whenever he needs me.  I know some mommas want to teach their babies independence, self-soothing, all those things.  I think that's great.  For Joons, though, I'm okay with him needing me...yes, even around the clock.  I see him learning independence in other ways, I watch him growing up and forward, and it's so great.  Nighttime is just a different story, though.  He goes ballistic, and I'm the only thing he wants.  I love our quiet times together in the middle of the night while he's nursing himself back into his happy sleepy place.  Even on the nights I'm nodding off and getting an ache in my neck, I still think it's our own little kind of magic.  It's humbling and tender and exhausting.

All of that (did any of that tired rambling make sense even?) to say...we'd had a long night.  I woke up with a headache and a sore chest and a grinning, army-crawling Joony ready to play.  David left for work right as we were waking up, so when he sent me a how are you holding up? text, I replied with a waaaaaaah.  And we arranged for a lunch date.


We ate McDonalds in the car, then braved the chill for just long enough to push Joony in the swing for the first time this year (his second time ever!).  He loved it, and David and I had one of those, "Oh yeah...that's why we're doing this insane thing," moments.
...and then we broke Joony's little baby heart by ending swinging time.  And we were mean parents because we giggled at his tantrum.

David went back to work and I went home with Joony to have a snack and roast asparagus and it was a normal day.  We went to bed that night and started all over again.  Life was (is) good.
Oh, and I bought myself some flowers because it's spring and they were so pretty, they just had to come home with me.  And that's all I gotta say about that.

8 comments:

  1. C is almost 15 months and some nights she is still up every 2-4 hours...I hear you on being tired! I think it's teething (at least I hope) and that when her teeth all FINALLY come in she will be the perfect sleeper again! I think it's amazing that you have been able to breast feed for this long (I am so jealous!) :) We laugh when C has tantrums sometimes too...it is just so funny and so dramatic when she throws herself on the floor.

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    1. It is so good to connect with other parents who are as tired as we are! Teething is the WORST. And tantrums..yeah, they're kind of hilarious sometimes. Hang in there, Mama! I'm right there with you!

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  2. "David and I had one of those, 'Oh yeah...that's why we're doing this insane thing,' moments."

    This made me smile. Just keep tellin' things how they are, friend. :-)

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    1. Audrey, your comments and tweets are always such a bright spot in my day! I think you are so cool. Thank you :)

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  3. Noah and i are the same at night, he has never been forced to self soothe himself back to sleep and im the only one who can calm him back into sleep mode. It is tiresome but it is so special and a part of our story that i cherish :) and yes at the laughing at some of their tantrums haha

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    1. I'm so happy to hear Joony's not the worst of the bunch...there are other non-sleepers just like him!! I feel like my Facebook is saturated with, "My baby slept 16 hours last night!" posts. It is tiresome, but so worth it. And laughing at tantrums...your post about Noah's custard meltdown was especially cute!

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  4. My 14 month old still wakes up at night a couple times a week. I'm also still breastfeeding. I like having those quiet times together in the middle of the night, too.

    Also, what kind of forward facing seat do you have? Ezra has almost reached the weight limit on his infant car seat.

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  5. How cute is Joony's little TMNT shirt? Such a stylish kid. :) And I'm sorry to hear that your baby doesn't sleep very well. My niece is nearly 18 months and still doesn't sleep through the night. Some kids just have a harder time. Hopefully he outgrows it soon!

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oh, hey!

i think you're smart, pretty, and entitled to your own opinions.

i'd love it if the feeling was mutual!